"Oh, come on, frau! You're being so unawsome!"
"I don't give a damn, Gilbert! Now get outta my kitchen!"
Usually, you could handle Gilbert Beilschmidt's constant, obnoxious douchebaggery, but today, he had gone a step too far.
The night before, Gilbert had snuck into your room while you slept and managed to acquire one of your bras. Then, as if stealing your undergarments wasn't enough already, he decided to parade around the apartment complex with it, wearing it on his head.
Of course, he made perfectly sure to tell anyone who asked exactly whom the bra belonged to, and exactly what the cup size was.
Needless to say, you were pissed.
"You're an asshole, you know that?! A grade 'A' fucktard in every sense of the word!!"
Gilbert winced, flinching back from you, slightly. He hadn't expected you to be so upset with him. You were a tough girl, and it usually took a lot to offend you, so he had honestly thought your reaction would be a lot less harsh.
"C'mon, (y/n)! It vas just a little joke!"
Your eyes flared, a dark aura gathering around you.
"...a joke? Just a little JOKE?!"
You reached behind yourself, groping blindly at the counter for something to use as a projectile. If he really thought that humiliating you publicly could be considered as nothing more than a little joke, the you would make sure he suffered the consequences!
Your fingers managed to close around a drinking glass.
And then a plate, and then a bowl.
It wasn't very long before your kitchen floor was littered with shattered glass and porcelain.
You stood in the center of the mess, hunched over slightly, hands balled into tight fists at your sides. Your breathing was heavy and shallow, and you were quivering, ever-so-slightly. Gilbert was about 6 feet away from you, posed awkwardly to avoid stepping on any shards, seeing as how he was barefoot.
The 'Prussian' male blinked, startled by the sudden iciness of your tone. You had lowered your head, so he couldn't see your eyes, or make out your exact expression.
"GET OUTTA MY SIGHT."
And that was when you grabbed the cleaver.
Gilbert's legs couldn't have gotten him out of that kitchen any faster.
--------------------THIS IS A TIMESKIP--------------------
" Scheiße, frau. How many times do I have to apologize?!"
"Just go away, Gilbert. I'm in no mood to hear your voice,"
You heard your roommate sigh from the other side of your bedroom door, and simply burrowed further into your sheets in response to it. You had given up on trying to attack him, and had simply decided to avoid and ignore him instead.
The two of you had been living together for a couple of years, and there had been more than one instance where you had begun to develop a crush on the German-no, Prussian man, only to have the mere thought completely abolished because he decided to be a jerk.
It was becoming almost painful...
You whimpered softly, pushing your face into the pillow, tears gathering at the corners of your eyes.
You heard your doorknob rattle violently. The albino on the other side heaved another heavy sigh before going limp against the wood.
"Listen, schätzchen...I guess...vhat I did vas a real dick move...and I'm really sorry, but.."
"But what, Gil?! Now almost every tenant in the building knows exactly how big my boobs are! That's not funny, man!"
"But I vasn't trying to hurt you!"
That did you in. Rubbing your eyes, you hopped out of your bed and walked over to your door, unlocking it and flinging it open. Gilbert, who had been leaning against it, nearly fell into you, but managed to right himself just in time. His crimson eyes widened when he saw your face.
"You...you're not gonna cry are you?!"
"Shut up!" You barked. "You said you weren't trying to hurt me, right?! Then what exactly were your intentions?!"
Gilbert froze. "I...I don't know..." he murmured, and you stared up at him in disbelief.
"You...don't know!? Dude, get out. Just get out!!" You reached out and grasped his shoulders, turning him around so that his back was facing you, and pushed him, as if to give him a head start down the hallway.
"Vait, vait! If you forgive me, I'll-"
Gilbert turned back around to face you, swallowing thickly.
"If you forgive me, I'll parade around the complex in my boxers-"
The albino blinked, taking a short step back. "...Huh?!"
"You heard me." You said, a smirk twisting its way onto your face. "You will parade around the complex in briefs. That should be punishment enough, so its all I'll ask of you, if you really want my forgiveness."
"Do you want me to stay mad at you forever, Gil~?"
"....you're evil, (y/n)."
"Whatever. Now go get ready."
--------------------EAT YOUR VEGETABLES-------------------
You sat on the couch, a small smile on your lips as you watched the footage you had saved on your phone.
You felt the cushion next to you shift, and looked up to see a pouting, red-faced Gilbert.
"Awww, come on, you big baby. It couldn't have been that bad~" you cooed, turning off the video and slipping your phone into your pocket.
Gilbert said nothing. He simply slumped farther into the couch, sulking like a small child. You punched him lightly, in the shoulder.
"And you have no right to be mad at me. I was humiliated first. This was payback, so its fair."
All he did was grumble.
You sighed, closing your eyes and leaning against his shoulder, and felt him stiffen against you before relaxing and hesitantly pulling you closer.
"I'm grateful, Gilbert. You did something as embarrassing as that just so I would forgive you. It means...a lot to me..."
Gilbert's sour expression quickly morphed into one of happiness, and he laughed cockily - an odd, snake-like sound - bringing a hand up to ruffle your hair.
"Well, you're my favorite frau! It vould've been so unawesome if you stayed mad at the awesome me forever!"
You laughed at his answer. It was just so...him!
"I guess so, Gil."